"What Barbarians!"

"No Help Wanted."

By Alfred Bester (1913-87; Wikipedia HERE; the ISFDb HERE; the SFE HERE; and the IMDb HERE).

First appearance: Thrilling Wonder Stories, December 1939.

Short short short story (1 page).

Online at SFFAudio (HERE).

   "I should have thought you too intelligent for that sort of drivel."

JUST because you read it in a book doesn't make you an expert in something; experience is and always will be the best teacher . . .

Principal characters:

~ The unnamed narrator ("I was stranded, penniless, with no possibility of communicating with my chief for at least another six months") and Dr. Barton ("Come and see me again when you've studied a lot more").

References:

- Astronomers mentioned (Wikipedia links): Lowell (HERE), Pickering (HERE), Antoniadi (HERE), Slipher (HERE), and Very (HERE).

- "the canals of Mars":

  It's amazing how a typographical error can lead to a cultural obsession. (Wikipedia HERE).

  If you're really interested (and we mean really interested) in how Percival Lowell presented his thoughts about Mars and its possible inhabitants to the early 20th century public, see these articles, all available on UNZ:

  (1) "Mars" in The Atlantic Monthly (HERE), (HERE), (HERE) and (HERE).

  (2) "Is Mars Inhabited?" in The Outlook (HERE).

  (3) "The Planet Mars" in McClure's (HERE).

  (4) and "Mars As the Abode of Life" in The Century (HERE), (HERE), (HERE), (HERE), (HERE), (HERE), and (HERE).

Resource:

- Our latest look at Alfred Bester's fiction was "Fondly Fahrenheit" (HERE).

The bottom line:

Artwork by Wally Wood.

Unless otherwise noted, all bibliographical data are derived from The FictionMags Index created by William G. Contento & edited by Phil Stephensen-Payne.

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