"But Your Tongue Slipped"

"If Christmas Comes."

By Steve Fisher (1912-80; Wikipedia HERE; the IMDb HERE; Paperback Warrior HERE; and The Thrilling Detective HERE).

Tony Key No. 4.

First appearance: Detective Fiction Weekly, December 25, 1937.

Reprinted in:

  Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine #14, January 1944 (today's text) and November/December 2024.

  Silver Screams, 1994

  Murder at Eight, 2024.

Short story (13 pages.)

Online at The Luminist Archives (HERE; go to text page 5.)

(Note: Some text clipped but interpretable.)

   "You are sweet on her, aren't you?"

THE GLITZ AND GLAMOR of Yuletide Hollywood suffer a temporary dimming when a walking dead man is found on the floor of a drugstore—done in, appropriately enough, with poison. Since the victim had a movie studio connection, being an assistant film cutter, Tony Key is on the scene. Ostensibly a freelance Hollywood agent, Tony is more than most people suspect, his real job being "to put a heavy foot on the Hollywood crime wave in picture circles." (Why are we not surprised that there is such a thing?) In the end, as Tony already suspects, it's the green-eyed monster that put the victim on the floor of that pharmacy. Even at Christmastime, some things never change . . .

Main characters:

~ William Blake ("stared glassily up and past us at some Christmas tinsel on the ceiling"), Tony Key ("the world's highest paid detective"), Ben Thompson ("I am fine, who is dead?"), Betty Gale ("Merry Christmas to a corpse"), Mickey Ryan ("a bantam-weight guy with gray hair wandering around the store"), Stella Matthews ("It was something in the past that I thought I could bury and forget"), Roger West ("like Clark Gable, was one of the really big stars"), and Wilt Davis ("Yes, I disliked Bill Blake," he said, "that isn't news").

Typo: "lavendar".

Comment: Offhand, we can think of a couple of other authors have also used the epistolary technique to tell crime stories: Dorothy L. Sayers (HERE) and Lawrence G. Blochman (HERE and HERE).

References and resources:

- "even Garbo":

  "Greta Garbo (born Greta Lovisa Gustafsson; 1905–1990) was a Swedish-American actress and a premier star during Hollywood's silent and early golden eras. Regarded as one of the greatest screen actresses of all time, she was known for her melancholic and somber screen persona, her film portrayals of tragic characters, and her subtle and understated performances." (Wikipedia HERE.)

  Apart from Greta, our author namedrops some of the most famous Hollywood celebrities. Many links to Wikipedia:

  Marie Dressler (HERE)

  Jean Harlow (HERE)

  Rudolph Valentino (HERE)

  Lillian (Lilyan) Tashman (HERE)

  Mickey Mouse (HERE), the same rodent who was also a suspect in another murder (HERE).

  Lionel Barrymore (HERE). While he played a well-known French detective (HERE), his brother portrayed a better-known English sleuth (HERE).

  Mae West (HERE)

  Clark Gable (HERE)

  Luise Rainer (HERE).

- "it isn't Hollywood Boulevard then, it is Santa Claus Lane":

  "The Hollywood Christmas Parade (formerly the Hollywood Santa Parade and Santa Claus Lane Parade) is an annual parade held on the Sunday after Thanksgiving in Hollywood, Los Angeles, California. It follows a 3.5-mile (5.6 km) route along Hollywood Boulevard, then back along Sunset Boulevard, featuring various celebrities. Traditionally, Santa Claus appears at the end." (Wikipedia HERE.)

- "Hollywood's most prolific scenario writer":

  "In the silent era, screenwriters were denoted by terms such as photoplaywright, photoplay writer, photoplay dramatist, and screen playwright. Screenwriting historian Steven Maras notes that these early writers were often understood as being the authors of the films as shown, and argues that they could not be precisely equated with present-day screenwriters because they were responsible for a technical product, a brief 'scenario,' 'treatment,' or 'synopsis' that is a written synopsis of what is to be filmed." (Wikipedia HERE.)

- "a little extra kid"; "cowboy extras":

  "A background actor or extra is a performer in a film, television show, stage, musical, opera, or ballet production who appears in a nonspeaking or nonsinging (silent) capacity, usually in the background (for example, in an audience or busy street scene). War films and epic films often employ background actors in large numbers: some films have featured hundreds or even thousands of paid background actors as cast members (hence the term 'cast of thousands'). Likewise, grand opera can involve many background actors appearing in spectacular productions." (Wikipedia HERE.)

- "tuned in Bing Crosby":

  Enormously popular, Crosby had a whole series of radio shows. When "If Christmas Comes" was first published, Der Bingle was two years into an 11-year run on the Kraft Music Hall (1935-46):

  "Harry Lillis 'Bing' Crosby, Jr. (1903–77) was an American singer and actor. The first multimedia star, he was one of the most popular and influential musical artists of the 20th century worldwide. Crosby was a leader in record sales, network radio ratings, and motion picture grosses from 1926 to 1977. He was one of the first global cultural icons. Crosby made over 70 feature films and recorded more than 1,600 songs." (Wikipedia HERE.)

- "swell copy for Winchell":

  "Walter Winchell (1897–1972) was a syndicated American newspaper gossip columnist and radio news commentator. Originally a vaudeville performer, Winchell began his newspaper career as a Broadway reporter, critic and columnist for New York tabloids. He rose to national celebrity in the 1930s with Hearst newspaper chain syndication and a popular radio program. He was known for an innovative style of gossipy staccato news briefs, jokes, and Jazz Age slang. Biographer Neal Gabler claimed that his popularity and influence 'turned journalism into a form of entertainment.'

  "He uncovered both hard news and embarrassing stories about famous people by exploiting his exceptionally wide circle of contacts, first in the entertainment world and the Prohibition era underworld, then in law enforcement and politics." (Wikipedia HERE.)

- "another film cutter":

  "The film editor works with raw footage, selecting shots and combining them into sequences which create a finished motion picture. Film editing is described as an art or skill, the only art that is unique to cinema, separating filmmaking from other art forms that preceded it, although there are close parallels to the editing process in other art forms such as poetry and novel writing. Film editing is an extremely important tool when attempting to intrigue a viewer. When done properly, a film's editing can captivate a viewer and fly completely under the radar. Because of this, film editing has been given the name 'the invisible art'." (Wikipedia HERE.)

- "I Get That Old Feeling"; "The Lady Is a Tramp":

  "'That Old Feeling' is a popular song about nostalgia written by Sammy Fain, with lyrics by Lew Brown. It was published in 1937." (Wikipedia HERE.)

  "'The Lady Is a Tramp' is a show tune from the 1937 Rodgers and Hart musical Babes in Arms, in which it was introduced by former child star Mitzi Green. This song is a spoof of New York high society and its strict etiquette (the first line of the verse is 'I get too hungry for dinner at eight...') and phony social pretensions. It has become a popular music standard." (Wikipedia HERE.)

- "a Bromo":

  "Bromo-Seltzer is mentioned in several films and TV shows, including The Crooked Circle (1932), Bed of Roses (1933), Topper (1937), Wonder Man (1945), Somewhere in the Night (1946), The Postman Always Rings Twice (1981), The Hudsucker Proxy (1994), the 1998 The Simpsons episode 'Bart Carny,' and in Golden Girls (Season 4, Episode 1).

  "It is mentioned in John Steinbeck's 1939 novel The Grapes of Wrath.

  "Drugstore Bromo-Seltzer dispensers are mentioned in Georges Simenon's 1949 detective novel Maigret chez le coroner that takes place in Arizona.

  "It is mentioned in several songs, including 'Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered' by Rodgers and Hart, 'Adelaide's Lament' in the musical Guys and Dolls, and 'Pachuco Cadaver' by Captain Beefheart and his Magic Band. In Spike Jones' version of Laura, the chorus chants 'Bromo-Seltzer, Bromo-Seltzer...' to evoke the sound of a chugging train." (Wikipedia HERE.)

- Steve Fisher's Tony Key stories (FictionMags data; ss = short story, nv = novelette):

  "Murder Game—With Mirrors," (ss) Detective Fiction Weekly, May 15, 1937

  "Batten Down That Killer," (nv) Detective Fiction Weekly, June 19, 1937 (online HERE)

  "Mystery at Malibu," (ss) Detective Fiction Weekly, November 20, 1937

  "If Christmas Comes," (ss) Detective Fiction Weekly, December 25, 1937 (above)

  "Me and Mickey Mouse," (nv) Detective Fiction Weekly, January 22, 1938

  "Hollywood Party," (ss) Black Mask, June 1938

  "The Glamour and the Glory," (ss) Detective Fiction Weekly, September 3, 1938

  "Pennies on Your Eyes," (ss) Detective Fiction Weekly, October 22, 1938

  "Goodbye to Hollywood," (nv) Detective Fiction Weekly, December 10, 1938

  "Cinderella Wore Black," (ss) Detective Fiction Weekly, April 19, 1941

  "Rain in Hollywood," (nv) Detective Fiction Weekly, July 26, 1941

  Murder at Eight, 2024 (collection).

- Our only previous encounter with Steve Fisher seems to have been the short-short-short tale, "Listen to Reason" (HERE).

Unless otherwise noted, all bibliographical data are derived from The FictionMags Index created by William G. Contento & edited by Phil Stephensen-Payne.

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"You Mean, Mister, That a Man Oughter Be Able To Do a Murder an' Not Be Found Out?"

JUST AS SOME WRITERS seem to be born to make us laugh while others have a flair for drama, there is a subset of authors who are adept at producing crime fiction. Not detective fiction writers, mind you—that requires its own specialized skill set—but authors who are capable of delivering the goods when it comes to the impulses for crime. One such is today's author. We've dealt with him before and found his crime fiction . . . adequate. While he is justifiably famous for one of the most successful fantasies in book publishing and movie history, we've noticed that he did dabble in crime fiction; Ellery Queen (the editor) noticed, too, and took pains to reprint three of his stories, the first one of which is . . .

"The Mallet."

By James Hilton (1900-54; Wikipedia HERE; FadedPage HERE; the IMDb HERE; and Roy Glashan's Library HERE).

First appearance: Hutchinson's Story-Magazine, July 1929.

Reprinted in:

  A Century of Horror, 1935

  Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine, September 1942 (this version)

  Best Stories from Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine, 1944

  To the Queen’s Taste, 1946

  Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine (Australia) #1, July 1947

  Shafts of Fear, 1964

  The Best Crime Stories, 1984

  Ellery Queen's Mystery Magazine, April 1988

  The Best Crime Stories, 1990.

Long short story (17 pages).

Online at Roy Glashan's Library (RGL) (HERE).

   "Then, by God, ain't it eashy—eashy as kishin' a pretty woman like yo' wife—throw mallet on shlag-heap—an' in a minute—two minitsh—all burned to shinder!"

FOR THOUSANDS of years men have repeatedly proven the validity of the saying "In vino veritas." It's too bad for a conceited snake oil huckster that on this one occasion he chooses to ignore centuries of experience . . .

Principal characters:

~ Doctor Parker Potterson ("Now Potterson was extremely susceptible to pretty young women, and to exercise his charm over them was the keenest of all his vanities. Wherefore, with a deliberation and a confidence born of long practice, he smiled at her"), Bert ("A little under-sized hollow-chested man, pale and careworn, shabbily dressed—the sort that is born to say 'Sir' to everybody"), and Bert's wife ("She found him irresistible, of course, as all women did").

References and resources:

- "a lounge-lizard":

  "A lounge lizard is a man who frequents social establishments with the intention of seducing a woman with his flattery and deceptive charm. The term is reported to have 

arisen around 1915 in New York." (Wikipedia HERE.)

- "a Berserker fierceness hammered at his temples":

  "In the Old Norse written corpus, berserkers (Old Norse: berserkir) were those who were said to have fought in a trance-like fury, a characteristic which later gave rise to the modern English word berserk, meaning 'furiously violent or out of control'." (Wikipedia HERE.)

  Fearsome Berserkers have even worked their way into modern science fiction, which in turn has shaped a hazy theory:

  "The Berserker hypothesis, also known as the deadly probes scenario, is the idea that humans have not yet detected intelligent alien life in the universe because it has been systematically destroyed by a series of lethal Von Neumann probes. The hypothesis is 

named after the Berserker series of novels (1963–2005) written by Fred Saberhagen." (Wikipedia HERE.)

- "a slag-heap":

  "A spoil tip (also called a boney pile, culm bank, gob pile, waste tip or bing) is a pile built of accumulated spoil – waste material removed during mining. Spoil tips are not formed of slag, but in some areas, such as England and Wales, they are referred to as slag heaps. In Scotland the word bing is used. In North American English the term is mine dump or mine waste dump." (Wikipedia HERE.)

- We previously perused Hilton's crime story, "The Perfect Plan" (HERE).

Unless otherwise noted, all bibliographical data are derived from The FictionMags Index created by William G. Contento & edited by Phil Stephensen-Payne.

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"He Ain't at the Morgue"

"He Had a Big Heart."

By Frank Quattrocchi (?-?; ISFDb HERE and IMDb HERE).

First appearance: Fantasy & Science Fiction (F&SF), March 1955.

Reprinted in An ABC of Science Fiction, 1966 (ISFDb HERE).

Short story (11 pages).

Online at SFFAudio (HERE).

   "He stole a heart that didn’t belong to him."

MOST technological innovations are beneficial to humanity; those that aren't are what we call "weapons." Any machine that extends life should be a benefit, and the one devised by Dr. Hendler and his colleagues definitely is. However, with this particular innovation there's a catch . . .

Main characters:

~ Dave Bailey ("DOA"), Babe ("She was cryin’ and runnin’ — she just had on a neg-lee-gee, you know"), Peetie, the newsboy ("That brother of yours has sure got a big heart"), Rick Jameson ("chose League night to put a .38 slug straight through my brother Dave’s heart"), Paul Wilson ("They’re going to want you at the morgue"), Henry Bailey ("this was becoming quite a story and such things usually don’t happen to people like me — or Dave either"), Dr. Hendler ("Your brother isn’t quite dead"), Pat O’Neal, the reporter for the Daily News ("The doc wants his heart back"), John Ritt ("You tell him I got a little deal working which I will contact him about"), Donald Pickett ("the sponsor of the mechanical heart has heart trouble"), Murphy ("Murder?"), and Frank Stolle ("one of the pin boys").

References and resources:

- "He's at Georgia Street right now"

- "After all, maybe there was a chance to make the bowling League’s third game. It would be a whole lot better than them taking two-thirds of my average":

  "A bowling league is a competitive event in which teams bowl against each other over the course of a season." (Wikipedia HERE.)

- "For several years now my colleagues and I have been working on a very very complex machine . . .":

  "In 1949, a precursor to the modern artificial heart pump was built by doctors William Sewell and William Glenn of the Yale School of Medicine using an Erector Set, assorted odds and ends, and dime-store toys. The external pump successfully bypassed the heart of a dog for more than an hour." (Wikipedia HERE.)

- "a shmoo-shaped flying saucer":

  "The shmoo (plural: shmoos, also shmoon) is a fictional cartoon creature created by Al Capp (1909–1979); the character first appeared in the comic strip Li'l Abner on August 31, 1948. The character created a fad that lasted into the 1950s, including merchandise, songs, fan clubs, and appearances on magazine covers." (Wikipedia HERE.)

- "the story of Marilyn Monroe’s calendar":

  "Marilyn Monroe (born Norma Jeane Mortenson; 1926–1962) was an American actress and model. Known for playing comic 'blonde bombshell' characters, she became one of the most popular sex symbols of the 1950s and early 1960s, as well as an emblem of the era's sexual revolution. She was a top-billed actress for a decade, and her films grossed $200 million (equivalent to $2 billion in 2023) by the time of her death in 1962." (Wikipedia HERE.)

- "anti-vivisection pitch":

  "Anti-vivisectionists have played roles in the emergence of the animal welfare and animal rights movements, arguing that animals and humans have the same natural rights as living creatures, and that it is inherently immoral to inflict pain or injury on another living creature, regardless of the purpose or potential benefit to mankind." (Wikipedia HERE.)

- "sandwich cards":

  "A sandwich board is a type of advertisement tool composed of two boards with a message or graphic on it and being either carried by a person, with one board in front and one behind in a triangle shape, hinged along the top, creating a 'sandwich' effect; or set up next to a store advertising its goods. In this way, the advertising message can be read on both sides interchangeably." (Wikipedia HERE.)

- "handbills":

  "A flyer is also called a 'palm card,' 'circular,' 'handbill,' 'pamphlet,' 'poster,' 'lit' (literature), 'weekly ad,' 'catalogue' or 'leaflet'." (Wikipedia HERE.)

- "straight from a Pershing Square park bench debate":

  "Pershing Square is a small public park in Downtown Los Angeles, California, one square block in size, bounded by 5th Street to the north, 6th Street to the south, Hill Street to the east, and Olive Street to the west. Originally dedicated in 1866 by Mayor Cristóbal Aguilar as La Plaza Abaja, the square has had numerous names over the years until it was finally dedicated in honor of General John J. Pershing in 1918." (Wikipedia HERE.)

Unless otherwise noted, all bibliographical data are derived from The FictionMags Index created by William G. Contento & edited by Phil Stephensen-Payne.

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