Friday, December 12, 2025

"I Fear This Is Going To Be a Five-pipe Problem"

"The Adventure of the Ascot Tie."
By Robert L. Fish (1912-81; Wikipedia HERE and the IMDb HERE and HERE).
Schlock Homes No. 1.
First appearance: Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine, February 1960.
Short story (9 pages).
Online at Archive.org (HERE; go to page 82).
(Note: Parts of the top of pages 85 and 87 are smudged but interpretable.)

   "I believe I can honestly say, without false modesty, that there are few in this world who could hope to baffle me with a cipher or code."

HOMES'S boast about being an unequalled code breaker is put to the test when an anxious young woman conveys her fears that her uncle might be involved with criminals. As always with Homes, dealing with the criminal element is merely element-ary . . .

Principal characters:
~ Homes, Watney, Miss Wimpole, and Mr. Jno. Wimpole.

The Moment When It All Becomes Clear (usually, anyway):
  At once the devilish cleverness of the entire business burst upon my brain.

References:
- "an addict of side-saddle riding":
  "Sidesaddle riding is a form of equestrianism that uses a type of saddle that allows riders, generally female, to sit aside rather than astride an equine. Sitting aside dates back to antiquity and developed in European countries in the Middle Ages as a way for women in skirts to ride a horse modestly." (Wikipedia HERE.)
- "the British museum":
  "The British Museum is a public museum dedicated to human history, art and culture located in the Bloomsbury area of London. Its permanent collection of eight million works is the largest in the world. It documents the story of human culture from its beginnings to the present. Established in 1753, the British Museum was the first public national museum." (Wikipedia HERE.)
- "the Rossetti Stone":
  "The Rosetta Stone is a stele of granodiorite inscribed with three versions of a decree issued in 196 BC during the Ptolemaic dynasty of Egypt, on behalf of King Ptolemy V Epiphanes. The top and middle texts are in Ancient Egyptian using hieroglyphic and Demotic scripts, respectively, while the bottom is in Ancient Greek. The decree has only minor differences across the three versions, making the Rosetta Stone key to deciphering the Egyptian scripts." (Wikipedia HERE.)
- "applying benzidrine hypochloric colloid solution":
  Homes successfully using this chemical compound in a forensic investigation is highly unlikely.
  "The drug’s popularity skyrocketed. During World War II, soldiers used amphetamine to help them stay awake, have mental focus, and prevent fatigue. By 1945, estimates show more than 13 million tablets of amphetamine were produced a month in the United States. This was enough amphetamine for half a million people to take Benzedrine each day. This widespread use helped fuel its misuse. The risk of dependence wasn’t well understood yet." (Healthline HERE.)
- "originally developed by Tutankhamen":
  "Tutankhamun's tomb was discovered in 1922 by excavators led by Howard Carter and his patron, George Herbert, 5th Earl of Carnarvon. Although it had clearly been raided and robbed in ancient times, it retained much of its original contents, including the king's undisturbed mummy. The discovery received worldwide press coverage; with over 5,000 artifacts, it gave rise to renewed public interest in ancient Egypt, for which Tutankhamun's mask, preserved at the Egyptian Museum, remains a popular symbol." (Wikipedia HERE.)
- "at Albert Hall":
  "Since the hall's opening by Queen Victoria in 1871, the world's leading artists from many performance genres have appeared on its stage." (Wikipedia HERE.)
- "Whos On First":
  "'Who's on First?' is a comedy routine made famous by American comedy duo Abbott and Costello. The premise of the sketch is that Abbott is identifying the players on a baseball team for Costello. However, the players' names can simultaneously serve as the basis for questions (e.g., 'Who is the first baseman?') and responses (e.g., 'The first baseman's name is Who.'), leading to reciprocal misunderstanding and growing frustration between the performers. Although it is commonly known as 'Who's on First?', Abbott and Costello frequently referred to it simply as 'Baseball'." (Wikipedia HERE.)
- "the second race at Ascot":
  "The racecourse has been used for filming many times – most notably three times in James Bond productions, the first being in A View to a Kill (1985), where Bond (played for the last time by Roger Moore) was beginning his mission to defeat Max Zorin (Christopher Walken), whose horse was racing there. The racecourse was used again in Skyfall (2012) where it stood in for Shanghai Pudong International Airport." (Wikipedia HERE.)
- "my old friend Inspector Queen":
  Any idea who that would be?
- "the last shall be first":
  From Matthew 20:16. (Full quote at King James Bible Online HERE.)
- "a touting scheme"; "a bookmaker":
  "In the sports betting world, a tout is someone who sells picks of winners against the spread and the over/under. Most touts are scam artists and most don't have a long term winning record." (Wikipedia HERE and HERE.)

Resources:
- It's not surprising that quite a few mysteries revolve around cryptology; see "Brush Up Your Vigenere" (HERE).
- The inhabitants of 212B Beagle Street also encounter their own disturbing difficulties (HERE) and (HERE).
- Hugh Kingsmill had the gall to pit Holmes and Watson against Raffles and Bunny (HERE).
- And let's not forget the unforgettable forgotten case of The Shropshire Slasher (HERE).
- Robert L. Fish's involvement with Jack London's unfinished novel The Assassination Bureau, Ltd., resulted in (THIS).
- Here's the complete FictionMags list for Robert L. Fish's Schlock Homes saga (nv = novelette; ss = short story):
  "The Adventure of the Ascot Tie," (ss) Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine, February 1960 (above)
  "The Adventure of the Printer’s Inc.," (ss) Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine, May 1960
  "The Adventure of the Adam Bomb," (nv) Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine, September 1960
  "The Adventure of the Spectacled Band," (ss) Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine, November 1960
  "The Adventure of the Stockbroker’s Clark," (ss) Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine, March 1961
  "The Adventure of the Missing Cheyne-Stroke," (ss) Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine, August 1961
  "The Adventure of the Artist’s Mottle," (nv) Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine, November 1961
  "The Adventure of the Double-Bogey Man," (ss) Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine, February 1962
  "The Adventure of the Missing Prince," (ss) Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine, July 1962 (a.k.a. "The Adventure of the Lost Prince")
  "The Adventure of the Counterfeit Sovereign," (ss) Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine, June 1963
  "The Adventure of the Snared Drummer," (ss) Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine, September 1963
  "The Adventure of the Final Problem," (ss) Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine, February 1964
  "The Return of Schlock Homes," (ss) Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine, June 1964
  "The Adventure of the Big Plunger," (ss) Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine, February 1965
  "The Adventure of the Widow’s Weeds," (ss) Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine, August 1966
  "The Adventure of the Perforated Ulster," (ss) Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine, February 1967
  "The Adventure of the Missing Three-Quarters," (ss) Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine, September 1967
  "The Adventure of the Disappearance of Whistler’s Mother," (ss) Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine, February 1968
  "The Adventure of the Dog in the Knight," (nv) Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine, February 1970
  "The Adventure of the Briary School," (ss) Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine, February 1973
  "The Adventure of the Hansom Ransom," (ss) Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine, May 1973
  "The Adventure of the Great Train Robbery," (ss) Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine, April 1974
  "The Adventure of Black, Peter," (ss) Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine, July 1974
  "The Adventure of the Odd Lotteries," (ss) Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine, July 1975
  "The Adventure of the Elite Type," (ss) Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine, July 1977
  "The Adventure of the Animal Fare," (ss) Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine, October 1977
  "The Adventure of the Common Code," (ss) Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine, September 1979
  "The Adventure of the Patient Resident," (ss) Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine, February 11, 1980
  "The Adventure of the Belles Letters," (ss) Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine, June 30, 1980
  "The Adventure of the Short Fuse," (ss) Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine, August 18, 1980
  "The Adventure of the Ukrainian Foundling Orphans," (ss) Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine, January 28, 1981
  "The Adventure of the Pie-Eyed Piper," (ss) Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine, June 17, 1981.
NOTE: All of these stories were collected in Schlock Homes: The Complete Bagel Street Saga in 1990.

The bottom line:

Unless otherwise noted, all bibliographical data are derived from The FictionMags Index created by William G. Contento & edited by Phil Stephensen-Payne.
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