Saturday, May 31, 2025

"Clank, Clank"

THERE are a lot of people running around today—technologists, fiction writers, and even corporate CEOs among them—who insist that what happens in today's story isn't wishful thinking but inevitable . . .

"REALIZATION."
By Ben Singer (1931-2012).
First appearance: Future Science Fiction, July 1952.
Reprints page (ISFDb HERE).
Short short short short story (1 page).
Online at SFFAudio (HERE).

   "They were working on something big when this stopped all they were attempting to accomplish."

WHAT could possibly bring everything to a sudden halt? Something that clanks when it moves, something that just moments before was doing nothing—"Absolutely nothing" . . .

Resources:
- Articles relating to the basic idea of our story are (HERE), (HERE), (HERE), (HERE), (HERE), (HERE), (HERE), (HERE), and (HERE).
- Unusual for the time, "REALIZATION" is told in the first-person limited historical present tense (HERE).
- FictionMags has a list of Ben Singer's short fiction (ar = article; lt = letter; vi = vignette; and ss = short story):
  "And Having Writ," (ar) The Gorgon, July 1947
  [letter from Michigan], (lt) Famous Fantastic Mysteries, October 1947
  "Reprisal," (vi) The Gorgon, November 1947
  "Rejection Slip," (ss) Future Science Fiction, May 1952 (online HERE; go to text page 66)
  "REALIZATION," (vi) Future Science Fiction, July 1952 (above).

The bottom line:

Unless otherwise noted, all bibliographical data are derived from The FictionMags Index created by William G. Contento & edited by Phil Stephensen-Payne.
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Wednesday, May 28, 2025

The World's Greatest Near-Detective

LONGTIME readers of ONTOS may remember Philo Gubb, a walking talking inverted parody of Sherlock Holmes and the brainchild of irrepressibly humorous Ellis Parker Butler; but Gubb wasn't Butler's only sendup of Great Detectives. Behold . . .

(1) "Oliver Spotts, Near-Detective."
By Ellis Parker Butler (1869-1937; Wikipedia HERE; the ISFDb HERE; FictionMags HERE; Project Gutenberg HERE; the IMDb HERE; and the Ellis Parker Butler website HERE).
Illustrated by Rodney M. de Sarro (1908-88).
First appearance: The Illustrated Detective Magazine, January 1931.
Online at the Ellis Parker Butler website (HERE).

   "Instantly the door was thrown open and he was faced by Old Cap Cuff, who thrust two huge automatics into his face."

IN sleepy little Mud Cove not only have clams gone missing but so has a valuable first edition of a detective novel. It's said that some great detectives are born, others are made, but in Oliver's case it's largely a matter of chloroform . . .

Principal characters:
~ Oliver Spotts ("Even in his nightshirt he had the appearance of a serious-minded bantam rooster—an exceedingly gentle one"), Lotta ("Have you got a clue yet?"), Old Cap Cuff ("A crime has been committed, Spotts—a dastardly crime!"), Emmaline ("screamed and dropped the basket of clams and fell to the floor in a faint"), Phelim Dale ("It is true that there are some collectors who will go to any lengths to gain possession of what they covet, and Phelim Dale had yielded to just such a temptation"), Isobel Dale ("took from her bosom the missing first edition"), and Mortimer Quince ("had a very mean nature").

(2) "$100 Thousand Reward; Oliver Spotts, Near-Detective."
By Ellis Parker Butler (1869-1937).
Illustrated by Rodney M. de Sarro (1908-88).
First appearance: The Illustrated Detective Magazine, February 1931.
Online at the Ellis Parker Butler website (HERE).

   "In the detective business you don't never know how things is going to end up . . ."

A DOG, this one a "pup-pup-Pekingese," has gone missing in sleepy Mud Cove, and Old Cap Cuff selects from the student body of the Cornelius Cuff College for Detectives a handful of tutees to work the case. Although a canine shows up (a hitherto unknown-to-science Cape Cod clam-hound), it's not the missing pooch. Eventually, as one student notes, even the smartest criminals always slip up somewhere; here it involves careless scribblings and a scrap of cloth . . .

Principal characters:
~ Oliver Spotts ("had given the wrong answer to the only question Old Cap had asked him in that class the day before"), Old Cap Cuff ("At the rate you're going, Spotts, you'll be a detective in about one million years"), Mr. Clancy ("The criminal—even the shrewdest criminal—always makes some slip that leads inevitably to his detection"), Emmaline ("the college cook, going through the halls ringing the big dinner bell"), Mrs. Elmus Cutminster ("has, of course, notified the police, but she expects nothing from them"), the tall thin man ("wore a dark suit that was extremely shabby and a black derby hat that had seen far better days"), the plump man ("was clad in a suit of light gray plaid and had a soft gray felt hat on his head"), and a dog ("A full-blood Cape Cod clam-hound. Now, this here hound he noses out the places where the clams are and saves you a lot of time").

Reference:
- "Cadwallader G. Vanderbilt" is fictional, but readers in 1931 would be familiar with the real Vanderbilts (Wikipedia HERE).

(3) "The Third-Grade Watson."
By Ellis Parker Butler (1869-1937).
Illustrated by Rodney M. de Sarro (1908-88).
First appearance: The Illustrated Detective Magazine, March 1931.
Online at the Ellis Parker Butler website (HERE).

   "We call them Watsons, because the one Sherlock Holmes had was named Dr. Watson, but every detective has got to have one."

"A MOST important case of crime has come up," announces Old Cap Cuff portentously, "and the full resources of this college have been asked to solve the baffling mystery." Baffling it is, necessitating that the miscreant responsible perform a close shave in the nighttime without being noticed; and it might have worked if the perpetrator hadn't ignored a forensic principle formulated by a French criminologist . . .

Principal characters:
~ Oliver Spotts ("I bet you ain't such a fool as you look"), Old Cap Cuff ("One safety razor of white metal, stamped 'Patented Aug. 6, 1922,'" said Old Cap Cuff, taking the razor apart. "One steel blade for same. Said razor and blade show no fingerprints"), Jed Hullins ("The police is baffled, by hecky! Yes, sir, we're baffled right up to the neck!"), Mlle. Duflay ("owns a mule, a mule that had performed upon the stage before millions and before the crowned heads of Europe"), Orlando Morez ("I make sing for opera, for concert—beautiful music. Of the voice, so—tra-la-la-la!"), Jadwin Bleeks ("This terrible outrage, gentlemen," he said, "has got to be punished"), Henry W. Scummins ("took a roll of bills from his pocket and handed Old Cap Cuff a couple of thousand dollars for board, tuition and expenses, and having said farewell to Ethelbert he entered his limousine and was driven away"), Ethelbert ("I haven't done a thing all my life but play the sax and read detective mystery novels. I can out-Wat any Watson you ever heard of"), and Woppo ("Hee-haw hee-haw hee-haw e-aw-aw-aw-aw-aw").

References:
- "the world's only educated mule" (HERE).
  "Mules are reputed to exhibit a higher cognitive intelligence than both of their parent species [donkeys and horses], but robust scientific evidence to back up these claims is lacking."
- "a Rudy Vallee effect" (HERE).

(4) "The Ace of Death."
By Ellis Parker Butler (1869-1937).
Illustrated by Rodney M. de Sarro (1908-88).
First appearance: The Illustrated Detective Magazine, May 1931.
Online at the Ellis Parker Butler website (HERE).

   "I'd call it an inside-out case."

OMINOUS death threats are coming from somewhere and in an unusual fashion, scribbled on playing cards. Also unusual are the transformations in hair color that the threatened individual is experiencing. Could the two phenomena be related to each other? You bet they are, and you can also bet that Oliver Spotts, despite being a perfect example of a Near-Detective, will somehow amaze us by connecting them together . . .

Principal characters:
~ Tutham Brunch ("was an elderly and wealthy bachelor and in his youth he had been so miserably treated by a young lady that he thereafter hated all women. He would not even have a woman cook in his house and after a long series of other male cooks—white, yellow, brown and black—he had found Silas"), Silas ("made the most delicious clam pies ever tasted by man"), George Washington Bimm ("Silas' helper"), Jessica Bimm ("works into the hygrometer factory and young Wash Bimm is her brother"), Oliver Spotts ("Dressed in his best clothes and wearing a huge white apron Oliver Spotts looked more than ever like a bantam rooster"), Ethelbert Scummins ("a recently admitted student in Old Cap Cuff's College for Detectives, and the only student Old Cap Cuff had ever considered too dumb to learn detecting"), Captain Jed Hullins ("consider yourself under arrest"), Lotta ("What kind of fool nonsense is this, I'd like to know?"), and Old Cap Cuff ("Your brother is merely arrested for attempting to poison Mr. Tutham Brunch").

(5) "The Crime at Crossways."
By Ellis Parker Butler (1869-1937).
Illustrated by Rodney M. de Sarro (1908-88).
First appearance: The Illustrated Detective Magazine, June 1931.
Unavailable online.

(6) "The Heckby Hill Murder."
By Ellis Parker Butler (1869-1937).
Illustrated by Rodney M. de Sarro (1908-88).
First appearance: The Illustrated Detective Magazine, September 1931.
Online at the Ellis Parker Butler website (HERE).

   "The Heckby Hill murder was one of the most astonishing cases ever investigated by Oliver Spotts, the Near-Detective of Mud Cove, Long Island. It was a brazen affair for it was committed in full view of fifty-six detectives, one half of the police force of Mud Cove, and Emmaline, the cook of Old Cap Cuff's College for Detectives. In full view of all these people Antonio Bellotti was shot to death."

SOME old sayings seem to have outlasted their usefulness. Take, for instance, "Seeing is believing," and then consult just about any stage magician, Hollywood producer, or politician; they'll probably laugh in your face. So when it comes to the all-too-public assassination of a reclusive movie star, nobody thinks it could be otherwise. Even Oliver Spotts buys it—until the refutation literally crawls in through the window . . . 

Principal characters:
~ Antonio Bellotti ("He will never act again. He is as dead as the dickens!"), Lotta ("Well, corpse or not," said Miss Spotts, "tell him not to talk so loud; I want to get my sleep"), Chief Jed Hullins ("you won't have to catch the murderers, because there ain't any. Not now, there ain't"), the strange client ("I'm not used to detective ways, sir"), Mrs. Polly Hoffburger and Oscar ("Quack! Quack!"), Ethelbert Scummins ("Oliver Spotts has solved the mystery of Heckby Hill"), Oliver Spotts ("'Movie Actress Drops Dead in Hollywood. Lucette Milldew, Divorced Wife of Antonio Bellotti, Dies Suddenly'"), and Old Cap Cuff ("you're good. I'll say that much—you're good").

References:
- "Sweet Adeline" (HERE).
- "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot" (HERE).
- "The Star-Spangled Banner" (HERE).
- "a Valentine" [sic: Valentino] (HERE).
- "a Fairbanks" (HERE).

Resources:
- Although the locale is on Long Island, the dialect of English that the folks of Mud Cove seem to be speaking is a variant New York accent (HERE), which has its own convolutions.
- We first encountered Philo Gubb near the start of this weblog (HERE). A non-Gubb adventure with crime is (HERE). And a different sleuth residing in the Middle East reminded us of P. G. (HERE).

The bottom line:

Unless otherwise noted, all bibliographical data are derived from The FictionMags Index created by William G. Contento & edited by Phil Stephensen-Payne.
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Monday, May 26, 2025

Miscellaneous Monday—Number Forty

"The Art of Forensic Detection and Sherlock Holmes."
By Robert Ing, DSc, FAPSc.
Article (5 pages).
Online at the author's website (HERE).

   "Sherlock Holmes and his art of forensic detection has and still is an inspiration to those who practice this as modern day science."

FOR someone living at the turn of the 19th and 20th centuries, the character of Sherlock Holmes nevertheless possessed a formidable store of "knowledge in chemistry, bloodstain identification, botany, geology, anatomy, law, cryptanalysis, fingerprinting, document examination, ballistics, psychological profiling and forensic medicine." But there was one forensic technology widely available at the time that the Sage of Baker Street ignored. As the author says, "It would appear that despite its popularity Holmes preferred not to trouble himself with it." Can you guess what it was? [Answer below.]

References:
- Sherlock Holmes (HERE).
- "the 2009 Movie" (Warning! Spoilers! HERE).
- Karl Landsteiner (HERE).
- Georg Popp [sic: Puppe] (HERE).
- "The Adventure of the Blue Carbuncle" (Warning! Spoilers! HERE).
- Alphonse Bertillon (HERE).
- anthropometry (HERE).
- craniology (HERE).
- The Hound of the Baskervilles (Warning! Spoilers! HERE).
- "[The Adventure of] The Naval Treaty" (Warning! Spoilers! HERE).
- Sir Francis Galton (HERE).
- Latent fingerprint identification (HERE).
- Sir Edward Richard Henry (HERE).
- "A Case of Identity" (Warning! Spoilers! HERE).
- Francois Demelle (HERE).
- "The Adventure of the Reigate Squire" (Warning! Spoilers! HERE).
- "The Adventure of the Empty House" (Warning! Spoilers! HERE).
- Edmond Locard (HERE).
- profiling (HERE, HERE, and HERE).
- Dr. Thomas Bond (HERE).
- Jack the Ripper (HERE).
- cold reading (HERE).
- modus ponens (HERE).
- deduction (HERE).

Resources:
- Related: "Sherlock Holmes and the Tools of Deduction" (2012) by Jimmy Stamp in Smithsonian Magazine (HERE).
- Through the years there have been many "versions" of Sherlock Holmes (HERE).
- [Answer: yhpargotohp.]

The bottom line:

Unless otherwise noted, all bibliographical data are derived from The FictionMags Index created by William G. Contento & edited by Phil Stephensen-Payne.
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Thursday, May 22, 2025

"He Started, Sat Up and Gazed As If He Could Not Believe the Evidence of His Eyes"

DETECTIVE STORIES in which nature takes a hand in the solution seem to be relatively rare. Usually human nature of the worst kind is the prime mover in these things, but can human nature alone be blamed for what happens to . . .

"The Malava Stone - The Tale of the Pearl That Flew."
By Barbara (?-?) and Balfour Ritchie (?-?).
Illustrated by Steven Spurrier (1878-1961; Wikipedia HERE).
First appearance: Pearson's Magazine, October 1912.
Short short short story (6 pages). 
Online at Hathi Trust (HERE; starts on page 419).

   "The Malava Stone is a freak—nothing more nor less."

HERE we have a locked room mystery without a lock—indeed, without a door. Somehow a valuable pearl has disappeared but, while mutual suspicion abounds, there is no apparent way that any of the suspects could have done it. A pretty problem to be sure, one that calls for some outside-the-box thinking—and, wouldn't you know it, there just happens to be someone on the scene who can do that . . .

Main characters:
~ Lady Plainston ("Don't you think it must be worth three thousand pounds?"), Sir Anthony ("Quite, I should say"), Mr. Ingelstein ("It owes its value entirely to the fact that its remarkable variation of colour makes it an exact reproduction of a common fly"), and John Smith ("Doubtless you know what I have come for").

Reference:
- "It is a black pearl, but not all black" (Wikipedia HERE):
  "For thousands of years, seawater pearls were retrieved by divers in the Indian Ocean in areas such as the Persian Gulf, the Red Sea and the Gulf of Mannar . . . Before the days of cultured pearls, black pearls were rare and highly valued for the simple reason that white pearl oysters rarely produced naturally black pearls, and black pearl oysters rarely produced any natural pearls at all."

Resources:
- Concerning our authors, we have no clue.
- One of Michael Grost's Jacob Black mysteries centers on the product of irritated oysters, "Gorilla with a Pearl Earring" (HERE).
- A few ONTOS involvements with pearls (they're more common than you might think) would include "The Mystery of the Churchill Pearls" (HERE), "The Adventure of the Treasure Hunt" (HERE), and "The Mandarin's Pearl" (HERE).

The bottom line:

Unless otherwise noted, all bibliographical data are derived from The FictionMags Index created by William G. Contento & edited by Phil Stephensen-Payne.
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Sunday, May 18, 2025

"There's No Such Thing As a Perfect Crime, and We Have the Latest Scientific Methods at Our Beck and Call"

"The Classic Semerák Case."
By Josef Škvorecký (1924-2012; Wikipedia HERE; The Canadian Encyclopedia HERE; and Murder & Mayhem HERE).
Series character: Lieutenant Borůvka.
First appearance: Unknown.
Reprinted in Ellery Queen's Mystery Magazine, October 1967 (today's text).
Short story (15 pages).
Online at The Luminist Archives (HERE; go to text page 80).
   "Our complete investigative technique is based on system, on strict order, so we criminologists can't allow ourselves to be guided by haphazard ideas the way they do in detective books."

IT'S the classic dilemma: Was it murder or a suicide? A gung-ho police investigator is grimly determined to find out. All he has to do is to confirm that his hypotheses about S-B, B-T, and T-S are congruent with B-S-T, T-S-T, and B-S-B-T, and how all that fits with a half-hour visit to the Men's Room . . .

Principal characters:
~ Constable First Class Šinták ("was firmly convinced that Lieutenant Borůvka wielded powers not entirely in keeping with normal human abilities"), Sergeant Málik ("our insurance is the modern science of criminology"), Semerák ("you can tell that fellow's a murderer a mile off"), Pěnkava ("saw her alive!"), Bárta ("claims Semerák wore a tweed jacket"), old lady Bárta ("insists it was a brown corduroy jacket"), and Lieutenant Borůvka ("You didn't move a thing—everything is exactly the way you found it?").

References:
- "the Lindbergh kidnaping" (HERE).
- "the Sacco-Vanzetti story" (HERE).
- "two experienced members of the canine squad to calm the beast" (HERE) and (HERE).

Resources:
- Wikipedia (HERE) tells us about Josef Škvorecký's series character:
  "He wrote four books of detective stories featuring Lieutenant Borůvka of the Prague Homicide Bureau: The Mournful Demeanor of Lieutenant Borůvka, Sins for Father Knox 
[3 stories only], The End of Lieutenant Borůvka and The Return of Lieutenant Borůvka."
- Škvorecký deliberately set out to break every Golden Age of Detection rule that an English cleric considered inviolable with his Sins for Father Knox, which is available online (HERE; borrow only).
  A thoughtful review of Sins for Father Knox appeared in the Los Angeles Times (HERE):
  "What I experienced was a bout of ho-hummery, probably because I was hoping his rule-breaking exercises would be both fascinating and comprehensible. Instead, I found them tedious and opaque.
  "And that’s a pity because the stories have a sound and even enviable premise: A beautiful and sexy Czech blues singer solves crimes that the police of several nations can’t solve. But Skvorecky has burdened his premise with an overweight gimmick--the breaking of Father Knox’s whimsical rules--and the gimmick finally crushes the premise."
- Note: If you're thinking of buying any of Josef Škvorecký's books in fine condition, be prepared to pay a pretty penny.

The bottom line:

Unless otherwise noted, all bibliographical data are derived from The FictionMags Index created by William G. Contento & edited by Phil Stephensen-Payne.
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Thursday, May 15, 2025

"He Stopped for a Moment To Permit His Stereoscopic Ocular Apparatus To Adjust to the Decreased Intensity of the Ambient Lighting"

TODAY we look at two stories huddled together in the same magazine issue, a serious one about obsession and the other about . . . we'll let you figure that one out . . .

(1) "Touches."
By Gregory Benford (born 1941; Wikipedia HERE; the ISFDb HERE; the SFE HERE; and the IMDb HERE).
Illustration by Peter Botsis (ISFDb HERE).
First appearance: Amazing Stories, December 1991.
Reprints page (ISFDb HERE).
Short short short story (4 pages).
Online at The Luminist Archives (HERE; go to text page 19.)

   "The pitiful electronic games that the public played were monotonous to him."

"Whoso diggeth a pit," says the preacher, "shall fall therein." In today's story, a man diggeth a pit right enough, not with a shovel but a touchscreen . . .

Main characters:
~ The Gamer ("played the role of a young man, restive and ambitious"), Lisa ("was the only one he could trust"), and the Commissioner ("was known to be jealous and vindictive"). 

Go down about forty more pages and you'll come to . . .

(2) "Gunfight at Bertha's Saloon."
By Thomas R. McDonough (born 1945; Wikipedia HERE; the ISFDb HERE; and the SFE HERE).
Illustration by Jeff Busch (ISFDb HERE).
First appearance: Amazing Stories, December 1991.
Short short short story (3 pages).
Online at The Luminist Archives (HERE; go to text page 58).

   "Because this was not the customary way of ingesting lead, he emitted a noise communicating disapproval of the event."

SERIOUS IDEAS often get lost in translation. So does everything else . . .

Main characters:
~ Big Jack McGinty ("I altered my decision matrix"), Dirty Dan Larue ("suddenly suffered a total malfunction"), and Bertha ("emitted a loud oscillation of approximately 15 kilohertz").

Reference:
- "Beta Ceti VII" (HERE). Otherwise known as Diphda, Beta Ceti is a giant star just over 96 light-years away, making a round-trip time for a radio or TV signal of at least 192 years.

The bottom line:

Unless otherwise noted, all bibliographical data are derived from The FictionMags Index created by William G. Contento & edited by Phil Stephensen-Payne.
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Monday, May 12, 2025

"Instantly, the Violet Glow Within the Globe Vanished"

"Time To Stop."
By Randall Garrett (1927-87; Wikipedia HERE; the ISFDb HERE; and the SFE HERE).
First appearance: Science Fiction Quarterly, February 1957.
Short short short story (1 page).
Online at SFFAudio (HERE).

   "Here's a vignette that would have been a novelet in the old days."

Commenting on the tyranny of time, the much put-upon Pericles observed: "I see that Time's the king of men / He's both their parent, and he is their grave / And gives them what he will, not what they crave." It's that ominous reference to the grave that one scientist will unwisely overlook—to his everlasting regret . . .

Principal characters:
~ Robert Aghill ("There it is, sirs; a machine that will travel into the future"), Dr. Oswald Latimer ("I have no doubt that you'll not only get your Doctorate, but the Nobel Prize"), and Dr. Harry Rumfort ("Ridiculous! Impossible! Time travel can not be justified mathematically!").

Typo: "whild".

References:
- "the subject of time travel" (HERE) and (HERE).
- "an identity" (HERE).

Resource:
- The last story by Randall Garrett that we're pretty certain he actually wrote was "Stroke of Genius" (HERE).

The bottom line:

Unless otherwise noted, all bibliographical data are derived from The FictionMags Index created by William G. Contento & edited by Phil Stephensen-Payne.
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Friday, May 9, 2025

"This Evil Is Much More Ancient Than Atomic Bombs"

ONE of the late, great Edward D. Hoch's most enigmatic series characters investigates . . .

"The Hoofs of Satan."
By Edward D. Hoch (1930-2008; Wikipedia HERE; Michael Grost's megasite HERE and HERE; the ISFDb HERE and HERE; the SFE HERE; and the IMDb HERE).
Simon Ark No. 2.
First appearance: Famous Detective Stories, February 1956.
Reprinted in City of Brass, 1971.
Short story (9 pages).
Online at Archive.org (HERE).

   "I know what made those tracks. And the thing you want is here in the woods, now!"

THE devil's in the details, they say, but can he also be running around in frozen Devonshire?

Main characters:
~ Chief Inspector Ashly of New Scotland Yard ("a short, almost tiny man who nevertheless had the deep thundering voice of a much bigger man"), Simon Ark ("Since when do prints in the snow bring Chief Inspectors from Scotland Yard to investigate?"), Mayor Beverson ("Those are not the tracks of any animal I have ever seen"), Roland Summers ("I was busy chopping up some firewood"), Diana Hunt ("The smile vanished for an instant, then reappeared"), and Mark Eagen ("a small, pleasant-looking man who appeared to be about forty years old").

Typo: "a supernational occurance".

References:
- For what might have been Hoch's inspiration for the story see "Devil's Footprints" in Wikipedia (HERE) and David's Basement of the Bizarre (HERE).
- "an ansated cross, an early symbol of Egyptian Christians." See "Copts" (HERE) and "Coptic Cross" (HERE) in Wikipedia.
Resources:
- Concerning Edward D. Hoch's Simon Ark, the SFE tells us that "his first story, 'Village of the Dead' for Famous Detective Stories in December 1955, introduc[ed] Simon Ark, an Occult Detective who claims to be a 2000-year-old Coptic priest. Some of these stories are collected in The Judges of Hades and Other Simon Ark Stories (coll 1971), City of Brass and Other Simon Ark Stories (coll 1971) and The Quests of Simon Ark (1984); they are only marginally fantasy."
- We were in contact with Hoch about a year ago, when a fondness for numbers in story titles showed up in "The Seventh Assassin" and "The Seventieth Number" (HERE).

The bottom line:

Unless otherwise noted, all bibliographical data are derived from The FictionMags Index created by William G. Contento & edited by Phil Stephensen-Payne.
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Wednesday, May 7, 2025

Zed Reckoning

"Spelled Guilty."
By Dave Grinnell (?-?).
First appearance: 10-Story Detective, July 1947.
Short short short story (3 pages).
Online at The Luminist Archives (HERE; go to text page 20).
(Note: Some text smudging but interpretable.)

   "'Well,' said Corazel, leaning back and lighting his pipe, 'when I was in England, I noticed a little thing that had not occurred to me before'."

TODAY'S sleuth joins the likes of C. Auguste Dupin, The Old Man in the Corner, Mycroft Holmes, and Nero Wolfe in solving a crime without moving more than a few feet. All it 
takes is a phone call and a head for trivia . . .

Principal characters:
~ Detective Lieutenant William Corazel ("The old-timer with the keen-honed brain"), 
Diamond Bert ("no one knew who he was or what he looked like"), and the Chief 
("How do you know?").

Typo: "barked the Chief Chief right back".

Resources:
- Wikipedia has a short article about armchair detectives (HERE).
- The nom de plume "Dave Grinnell" is too close to "David Grinnell," one of many pen names often used by SFF uberpulpster Donald A. Wollheim (1914-90), for us not to conclude that he was "Dave Grinnell," but it's not certain. Regardless, "Dave Grinnell" produced nine crime fiction tales for Ten Detective Aces and 10-Story Detective Magazine in 1945-47 (FictionMags data; vi = vignette; ss = short story):
  "Gunfire Promotion," (vi) Ten Detective Aces, March 1945
  "The Devil Is a Magician," (ss) 10-Story Detective Magazine, September 1946
  "Put a Lid on Lora," (ss) 10-Story Detective Magazine, November 1946
  "Fright Night," (ss) Ten Detective Aces, February 1947
  "Crawling Clues," (ss) 10-Story Detective Magazine, March 1947
  "Nemesis Unseen," (ss) Ten Detective Aces, April 1947
  "Spelled Guilty," (ss) 10-Story Detective Magazine, July 1947 (above)
  "B.H.’s Slaughter," (ss) Ten Detective Aces, September 1947
  "Remember Me to Roscoe," (ss) 10-Story Detective Magazine, October 1947.

The bottom line:

Unless otherwise noted, all bibliographical data are derived from The FictionMags Index created by William G. Contento & edited by Phil Stephensen-Payne.
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Saturday, May 3, 2025

"The Man Had Been Stabbed from Within!"

HERE we have, right in the middle of the Golden Age of Detection (and Prohibition), nothing less than a brazen full-on assault on the genre (and the Volstead Act) by the staff of a popular magazine. An unjustifiable act of malice? No, we're more inclined to think they were all going bonkers waiting for the Eighteenth Amendment to be repealed . . .

"Mystery Number."
Judge Magazine, January 9, 1926 issue.
36 pages.
Online at Archive.org (HERE).

   "Within the deserted mansion itself, deserted save for a finger-print expert, a rifle-bore expert, a blood-stain expert, a toxicologist of note, a micrograph photographer, a score of plain clothes men and Inspector McGrouch—summoned hurriedly from his evening game of lotto, stood the Great Glumph, monosyllabic, hawklike, impenetrable."

WARNING! You'll need to have a high STQ (Silliness Tolerance Quotient) to get through this, so before you read it you might check with your psychiatrist—or, better yet, your wife . . .

Mystery references:
- Seven Baldpates (on the cover).
- The Black Hand (page 2).
- "The Amazing Adventures of Sherlock Lupin - A Tragedy of the Comic Weeklies" (pages 5 and 19).
- "Watson, the Needle!" (page 6).
- Mysterious trapdoor full-page cartoon (page 7).
- "The Midnight Crime" (page 8).
- "Stabbed from Within - A Glumph of the Bumps Yarn!" (pages 10 and 22-23).
- Mary Roberts Rinehart full-page cartoon (page 15).
- "The mystery story" cartoon (page 19).
- "The Return of Sherlock Holmes" (page 26).
- "Home Life of a Playwright" (page 27).
- "The Matrimonial Mystery" (page 29).
 
Resources:
- George Jean Nathan was a co-perpetrator of this issue of Judge; there's more about him (HERE).
- S. J. Perelman was also connected with Judge but not, evidently, with this particular issue; to make up for that, see his "Mastersleuth Unmasked at Last!" (HERE).

The bottom line:

Unless otherwise noted, all bibliographical data are derived from The FictionMags Index created by William G. Contento & edited by Phil Stephensen-Payne.
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