"I Heard You Were the Smartest Private Dick in This Country."

THERE'S no denying that the hardboiled 'tec eventually superseded Sherlock and the multitude of Holmes imitators that dominated popular mystery fiction up to and after the Second World War. Some of these successors weren't nearly as eloquent or elegant as Lord Peter or Mr. Campion, but the reading public didn't seem to mind. They bought their books in massive numbers, and publishers were more than pleased.

  One of the hardboileds who was a real contender in this contest for the reader's attention came from across The Pond, Slim Callaghan, who, in today's adventure, encounters . . .

"Murder with a Twist."

By Peter Cheyney (1896-1951; Wikipedia HERE and HERE; The Thrilling Detective HERE; Webpage HERE; and Roy Glashan's Library collection HERE and HERE).

First appearance: Illustrated, October 28, 1939.

Reprints:

  Mister Caution—Mister Callaghan, 1941.

  The Sydney Sportsman, Australia, February 23, 1942.

  E-book edition: Roy Glashan's Library, 2017.

Short story (~15 pages as a PDF).

Online at Roy Glashan's Library (HERE).

   "Everybody in the apartments would have heard the two shots."

IT'S the classic situation: An attractive dame, a chain-smoker, with a serious problem comes to Slim Callaghan, also a chain-smoker, for a cure. Her problem, she says, isn't smoking too much but the likelihood that she'll soon get smoked by a vengeful killer for squawking too much to the cops concerning what she knew about a criminal who was recently smoked in the electric chair. But Slim is undaunted and reassures her: 'We're being paid to protect you, and if somebody tries to shoot our client we say we're entitled to shoot first. Scotland Yard may not like it, but what can they do—afterwards? . . . He gave her a cigarette and lit it.'

Principal characters:

~ Slim Callaghan, Dale Montana, Mary Elvaston, Jake Parelli, Effie Thompson, MacOliver, Jenny Merrin, and (in absentia) Floyd Merrin.

References:

- "the hot squat" (HERE; Wikipedia).

- "She carries a .32 Colt automatic" (HERE; Wikipedia).

- "a Luger automatic" (HERE; Wikipedia).

Resources:

- When they make movies about a British private eye, it's only natural that the PI should be played by an Englishman. The first time Slim Callaghan appeared on screen he was portrayed by Michael Rennie (HERE; Wikipedia). Rennie soon jumped The Pond when Hollywood beckoned (with bigger paychecks) and went on to have a long career here, including making the Earth stand still in one film (WARNING! SPOILERS! HERE; Wikipedia) and encountering superpowers in another (WARNING! SPOILERS! HERE; Wikipedia).

The bottom line:

Unless otherwise noted, all bibliographical data are derived from The FictionMags Index created by William G. Contento & edited by Phil Stephensen-Payne.

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"But Their Guarantee Was Made To Cover All Time, Nor Was There Any Limit to the Length of Time.”

"Guaranteed."

By E. Everett Evans (1893-1958; Wikipedia HERE; the ISFDB HERE; the SFE HERE; and Fancyclopedia 3 HERE).

First appearance: Startling Stories, January 1948.

Reprints page (ISFDB HERE).

Short short short story (2 pages).

Online at Archive.org (HERE).

   "There was a guarantee with the article, which has proven itself to be incorrect and thus they are criminally negligent."

SELLERS of various items often make extravagant claims about their products, in particular how long they will last. Many consumers have been disappointed by such claims, but none more, we think, than the voiceless voice in our story . . .

Main characters:

~ Jean Coxart and the unknown communicator.

Reference:

- "made to cover all time" (HERE; Wikipedia; see especially "Lifetime warranty").

The bottom line:

Unless otherwise noted, all bibliographical data are derived from The FictionMags Index created by William G. Contento & edited by Phil Stephensen-Payne.

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"What the Blazes Did You Say to Him, Ford?"

(1) "The Singular Occurrence at Styles."

By Alan Henry (John Jakes, 1932-2023; Wikipedia HERE; ISFDB HERE; and the SFE HERE).

First appearance: Tales of the Frightened No. 1, Spring 1957.

No known reprints.

Short short short story (4 pages as a PDF).

Online at Project Gutenberg (HERE).

   "Now at last, since all other peaks had been left far below, he was ready to ascend this final pinnacle, and kill another human being for the sheer intellectual joy of finding out how one felt as one did it."

A hard lesson learned the hard way: "But then there’s always danger, when you write about something with which you’re not familiar." 

Principal characters:

- Newsome Holder, the young man, John Richardson Ford, and P. C. Finch.

References:

- "a troop of be-plumed Cavaliers" (HERE; Wikipedia).

- "Oxford dons" (HERE; Wikipedia).

- "a baby’s perambulator": In Britain it's usually called a pram. (HERE; Wikipedia).

Resources:

- We've encountered the real John Jakes before, when he was writing under his own name: "Coffins to Mars" (HERE), "With Intent to Kill" (HERE), "Half-Past Fear" (HERE), and "Hero at Work" and "Night of the Robots" (both HERE).

(2) "The Most Dangerous Man."

By Edward D. Hoch (1930-2008; Wikipedia HERE; the ISFDB HERE; the SFE HERE; and the IMDb HERE, 7 credits).

Reprinted in Last Laughs: The 1986 Mystery Writers of America Anthology (1986) (today's text).

Other reprints:

Ellery Queen’s Murdercade, 1975.

The Penguin Classic Crime Omnibus, 1984.

The Sherlock Holmes Stories of Edward D. Hoch, 2008.

Short short story (8 pages).

Online at Archive.org (HERE; go to text page 55).

   "That man is a devil!"

WE won't belabor the point about how best-laid plans often go south. Why should we, when "a tall, sharp-featured man" with "long white fingers" is there to make it happen?

Principal characters:

~ The professor, Dwiggins, Coxe, Quinn, Moran, Jenkins, and Archibald Andrews.

References:

- "the binomial theorem" (HERE; Wikipedia).

- "Covent Garden" (HERE; Wikipedia).

- "His hansom" (HERE; Wikipedia).

- "hidden in his walking-stick” (HERE; Wikipedia).

Resources:

- The professor in our story often concerned himself with esoteric matters; see (HERE) for more.

- Our latest contact with Edward D. Hoch was his Simon Ark story, "The Hoofs of Satan" (HERE).

The bottom line:

"Nobody—and I mean nobody—could twerk like her."

Unless otherwise noted, all bibliographical data are derived from The FictionMags Index created by William G. Contento & edited by Phil Stephensen-Payne.

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"What Is This Dingus Anyway?"

"The Ultimate Caper: The Purloined Letter."

By Donald E. Westlake (1933-2008; Wikipedia HERE; the SFE HERE; the ISFDB HERE; Project Gutenberg HERE; and the IMDB HERE, 47 credits).

First appearance: The New York Times Magazine, May 11, 1975.

Reprinted in Tomorrow's Crimes (1990) (today's text).

Reprints page (ISFDB HERE).

Short short short story (4 pages).

Online at Archive.org (HERE; go to text page 22).

(Note: Text very faded.)

   "Illuminated manuscripts developed sudden unexplained fly specks and pen smears."

WE like to think that some things are indispensable, such as love, friendship, and rechargeable batteries, but could a missing letter actually trigger an international 

treasure hunt?

Comment: If upon reading this story you happen to be reminded of another tale, 

this one involving a missing artifact, then the author wouldn't be at all surprised.

Main characters:

~ The fat man, Staid, Hart, Wilmer, Obloquy, and Laurinda.

References:

(Note: All links are to Wikipedia.)

- "a splash of Fresca" (HERE).

- "Illuminated manuscripts" (HERE).

- "one shield" (HERE).

- "a retired harpsichord tuner" (HERE).

- "Veterans of Foreign Wars" (HERE).

- "Jugoslav General" (HERE).

- "Asian flu" (HERE).

- "squirting Redi-Whip [sic]" (HERE).

- "Propa PH" (HERE).

- "over Loch Ness" (HERE).

- "Dortmunder" (HERE).

- "Frisbee" (HERE).

- "π" (HERE).

Resource:

- Although Donald E. Westlake is best known as a crime fiction author, he first drew this weblog's notice with a couple of science fiction stories (SFF): "The Risk Profession" and "The Spy in the Elevator" (both HERE).

The bottom line:

High-speed rail

Unless otherwise noted, all bibliographical data are derived from The FictionMags Index created by William G. Contento & edited by Phil Stephensen-Payne.

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"Worthless Little Articles"

"The Locked Room."

By Peter Lovesey (1936-2025; Wikipedia HERE; the SFE HERE; the ISFDB HERE; and the IMDB HERE, 6 credits).

First appearance: Winter’s Crimes 10, 1978.

Other reprints:

  Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine, March 1979, as "Behind the Locked Door."

  Ellery Queen’s Crime Cruise Round the World, 1981, as "Behind the Locked Door."

  Top Crime, 1983.

  The Best of Ellery Queen, 1983, as "Behind the Locked Door."

  Butchers and Other Stories of Crime, 1985 (today's text).

  Murder British Style, 1993, as "Behind the Locked Door."

Short story (15 pages).

Online at Archive.org (HERE; go to text page 193).

   "They want to believe it. That's the secret of all the best confidence tricks."

THE possibility of getting rich quick seems to be a universal aspiration, penetrating even into a small shop on Leadenhall Street . . .

Principal characters:

~ Frank Braid, Detective Inspector Gent, Norman Messiter, and Miss E. D. (in absentia).

References:

(Note: All links are to Wikipedia.)

- "Chubb mortice" (HERE).

- "a glover's" (HERE).

- "displays of Marlboro country" (HERE) "and the pure gold of Benson and Hedges" (HERE).

- "took out a torch" (HERE).

- "old boys' tie" (HERE).

- "at Scotland Yard" (HERE).

- "I’m a philatelist" (HERE).

- "Rowland Hill" (HERE).

- "the Penny Black" (HERE) "and the Twopence Blue" (HERE).

- "the Personal Column" (HERE).

- "in the Blitz" (HERE).

- "this side of Lloyd's" (HERE).

- "Blue chip investments" (HERE).

- "they want to believe it" (HERE); "confidence tricks" (HERE).

Resources:

- We've highlighted Peter Lovesey's work a couple of times: A review of Bloodhounds (HERE) and a tribute anthology in his honor (HERE). 

- ONTOS has noted how philately and criminality sometimes intersect: "Stamping Out Crime" (HERE), Nelson S. Bond's "Shall Stay These Couriers . . .'" (HERE), and H. Bedford-Jones's "Clancy, Detective" (HERE).

The bottom line:

Unless otherwise noted, all bibliographical data are derived from The FictionMags Index created by William G. Contento & edited by Phil Stephensen-Payne.

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"You Believe in Ghosts—Space Ghosts? Maybe Not—but Don’t Be Too Sure!"

THE other day we posted about several out-and-out fantasy stories 

involving spooky stuff. Let's get a little more scientific as we pay 

a visit to . . .

"Asteroid 745: Mauritia."

By Martin Pearson (Donald A. Wollheim; 1914-90; Wikipedia HERE; the ISFDB HERE; the SFE HERE; and the IMDB HERE, 5 credits).

First appearance: Orbit Science Fiction, September 1953.

Illustration by Dick Sheldon.

Reprints page (ISFDB HERE).

Short short short story (~ 4 pages as a PDF).

Artwork by David A. Hardy

Online at Project Gutenberg (HERE).

   "I do know one incident which I consider a true ghost story of space. I can’t account for it any other way. The whole thing fits the ghost pattern, though of course we didn’t realize it at the time."

IS guilt transferable from, let's say, one generation to the next? Nowadays people tend either to buy into that notion or completely reject it as being unjust to the innocent, who, they insist, shouldn't be held responsible for what their ancestors did. In today's story, that dilemma arises on a chunk of rock hundreds of millions of miles from Earth . . .

Main characters:

~ Chief Braun, three asteroid prospectors, Leopold Mauritz, and the unnamed narrator.

References:

- Asteroid 745: Mauritia is real. See the Space Reference Database (HERE) and Wikipedia (HERE) for all of the details.

  "Mauritia is a large asteroid that orbits between Mars and Jupiter in the outer reaches of the main asteroid belt. NASA JPL has not classified Mauritia as potentially hazardous because its orbit does not bring it close to Earth.

  "Mauritia orbits the sun every 2,150 days (5.89 years), coming as close as 3.12 AU and reaching as far as 3.40 AU from the sun. Mauritia is about 24.7 kilometers [15.3 miles] in diameter, making it larger than 99% of asteroids, comparable in size to the city of Indianapolis.

  "The rotation of Mauritia has been observed. It completes a rotation on its axis every 9.95 hours.

  "Mauritia's orbit is 2.14 AU from Earth's orbit at its closest point. This means that there is an extremely wide berth between this asteroid and Earth at all times."

- "poking around the asteroids" (HERE; Wikipedia).

- "base on Juno" (HERE; Wikipedia).

- "our Geigers" (HERE; Wikipedia).

- "A character named Hitler" (HERE and HERE; Wikipedia).

- "read us the riot act" (HERE, verb definition; Wiktionary).

- "the Syndicate" (HERE; Wikipedia).

- "I found that this planetoid, number seven-four-five, was first discovered about 1928 by an amateur astronomer named Leopold Mauritz. He named it after himself, Mauritia." The Wikipedia article about Asteroid 745: Mauritia (see above) tells a different story.

Resources:

- "Asteroid 745: Mauritia" seems to be one of many stories carrying Donald Wollheim's alternate byline of "Martin Pearson." Did Wollheim write "Spelled Guilty" (HERE) under another name? We're still not sure.

- One of what have been called "flying mountains" is the scene of the crime in Sam Moskowitz's "Death of an Asteroid" (HERE).

The bottom line:

Unless otherwise noted, all bibliographical data are derived from The FictionMags Index created by William G. Contento & edited by Phil Stephensen-Payne.

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Three for the Spook Season

LET'S get an early jump on an upcoming holiday that, modern science notwithstanding, is still popular. Some of the world's high-quality authors have turned their considerable talents to the supernatural and produced engrossing fiction (e.g., Henry James, Nathaniel Hawthorne, Edward Bulwer-Lytton, Sheridan Le Fanu, Arthur Machen, EAP—it's a long list, and these are only a few of the anglophonic writers). Lesser-known authors have also taken a turn at the genre, one of whom seems very eager to impart the weirdness attached to . . .

(1) "The Curse of Cleopatra."

By Michael Avallone (1924-99; Wikipedia HERE; The Thrilling Detective HERE; and the SFE HERE).

First appearance: Tales of the Frightened No. 1, Spring 1957.

Short story (12 pages).

Online at Project Gutenberg (HERE).

   "It’s risky business asking a Dream for qualifications."

IN the normal course of things, when somebody passes away they stay passed away, but our main character just might have found an exception to the rule . . . 

Principal characters:

~ Tanopsis, Queen Cleopatra, William Rameses, Lucille Nile, Reeves, Jerol, and Mr. Samarko.

References:

(Note: All links to Wikipedia unless otherwise noted.)

- Cleopatra (HERE).

- Tanopsis (HERE)

- Osiris (HERE).

- "that Roman knave Antony" (HERE).

- The Book of the Dead (HERE).

- "the beloved Nile" (HERE).

- "Spanish galleons" (HERE).

- "the sarcophagus" (HERE).

- Anubis (HERE).

- "Talk about misfortune" (HERE) "accompanying well-known jewels" (HERE; Horror History.net).

- "from the employment agency" (HERE).

- "general all-around Girl Friday" (HERE).

- "ad men" (HERE).

- "she made me feel exactly as Caesar must have felt when Cleopatra first rolled out of her rug in his quarters" (HERE).

- "some stenography equipment" (HERE).

- "Egyptology is your hobby?" (HERE).

- "Venus" (HERE) "or Pallas Athene" (HERE).

- "the tree of pharaohs" (HERE).

- "foundation devices" (HERE).

- "its Sphinx" (HERE).

- "its mighty pyramids" (HERE).

- "her Golden Barge".

- "living in Manhattan on the West Side" (HERE).

- "an Etruscan vase" (HERE).

- "A black onyx bookend" (HERE) "in the form of a Roman chariot" (HERE).

- "a rich, maroon Arabian vest" (HERE).

- "a red felt, flat-topped Egyptian Fez" (HERE).

- "in the form of an asp" (HERE).

- "an unknown love letter from Josephine to Napoleon" (HERE).

- "A story as old as the Bible. Brother killing brother" (HERE).

Resource:

- We last encountered Michael Avallone concerning his "Great Night for a Murder" (HERE).

~~~

(2) "The Stop at Nothing."

By Mark Dane (Michael Avallone, 1924-99; Wikipedia HERE; The Thrilling Detective HERE; and the SFE HERE).

First appearance: Tales of the Frightened No. 1, Spring 1957.

Short short story (7 pages).

Online at Project Gutenberg (HERE).

(Parental note: Strong language.)

   "Do what you please with the dollar but throw that wad of paper away somewhere. Anywhere. Eat it if you like."

IT'S not every day that someone gets a message from the Beyond—in a telegram . . .

Principal characters:

~ Sam Potter, Karen, Tommy, Max Barrett, Wesley Wells, and Carl (barely).

References:

(Note: All links are to Wikipedia unless otherwise indicated.)

- "businessmen’s convention" (HERE).

- "fake telegrams" (HERE).

- "the bellhop" (HERE).

- "Seeing pink elephants" (HERE)

- "the baloney packing department" (HERE, definition 2; Merriam-Webster Dictionary).

- "Regular little pen wiper" (HERE).

- "the same thing as Mardi Gras" (HERE and HERE).

- "the ridiculous magnums" (HERE).

- "the twenty case Ronson dream" (HERE).

- "all physiognomy" (HERE).

- "the one who discovered the Pacific Ocean and not Balboa" (HERE).

- "Charon—of course!" (HERE); "the River Styx" (HERE).

- "the theory of relativity" (HERE).

- "the tuxedoed guests" (HERE).

Resources:

- Trains not only often appear in detective fiction but also in tales of terror; perhaps they're a modern substitute for Charon's ride. For links to a few other locomotive-related stories that ONTOS has highlighted over the years, see "Resources" attached to Leland Sherwood's "Weight of Experience" (HERE).

~~~

(3) "Dead End."

By Mack Reynolds (1917-83; Wikipedia HERE; the SFE HERE; and e-fanzines HERE).

First appearance: Tales of the Frightened No. 1, Spring 1957.

Short short short story (2 pages).

Online at Project Gutenberg (HERE).

   "You’ll never believe this but Emil Carraway, Ph.D., M.D., even D.D., wanted to be bitten by a vampire."

IT took a rock band to remind us of a hard truth: “You can’t always get what you want.” The question is, will Emil get what he wants?

Principal characters:

~ Emil Carraway and the vampire.

References:

- Ph.D. (HERE).

- M.D. (HERE).

- D.D. (HERE).

- "a vampire" (HERE).

- "to achieve immortality"; "the vampire-wampyr-nosferatu-un-dead legends and to realize that here, at least in myth, was immortality" (HERE and HERE).

- "the yogurt-eating centenarians in Georgia and Armenia" (HERE).

- "the iron curtain lifted" (HERE).

- "Budapest" (HERE), "Belgrade" (HERE) "and Bucharest" (HERE).

- "an ancient Croatian castle" (HERE) "in Transylvania" (HERE).

- "Rh-Negative" (HERE); "type 'O'" (HERE).

Resources:

- Our last meeting with Mack Reynolds was when he gave us "The Business, As Usual" (HERE).

- To see what other professional writers could also do with scary stuff, see "Eight Tales of Terror You Might Enjoy" (HERE).

The bottom line:

Unless otherwise noted, all bibliographical data are derived from The FictionMags Index created by William G. Contento & edited by Phil Stephensen-Payne.

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"Something Odd Is Happening in the International Arena, Little Things in Various Parts of the World"

WE aren't what you'd call an avid spy fiction reader, so the following post will be a rare one. Nevertheless, if you'd like a James Bondian adventure that goes pleasingly over the top, then you might enjoy . . .

"Skeleton Collector."

By Marcia Martin (ISFDB HERE and the SFE HERE).

Illustrated by Brent Anderson (born 1955; Wikipedia HERE; the ISFDB HERE; and Homepage HERE).

First appearance: Rigel Science Fiction, Summer 1983.

No known reprints.

Short short story (8 pages).

Online at Archive.org (HERE).

   "People act inexplicably; change their minds, do things opposed to their own beliefs, even turn traitor. And they won't explain why. Or if they do, the explanations are obviously false."

IS it really an unwritten law in the espionage industry that spies don't "terminate" each other? While we doubt it, Hans Bergenholm might be inclined to argue: "Sharp edges slashed his elbows and right thigh, then he was falling through the night. A booming sound and a scorching gale lifted him on a pillow of flame."

Main characters:

~ Señor Francisco Vega, Herr Hansen, Señor Sanchez, Señor Alcuaz, General de Corona, Bishop Hidalgo, Señorita Rivera, Idri Obomi, the Ambassador, Frau Bergman, Herr Doctor Hauptman, the blond salesman, Hans Bergenholm, Gunnar Einerson, Doctor Rasukarno, Mme. Lavelle Renault, Barbara Nakagawa, a large man, Paul Ramirez, and two thugs.

Typo: "noice-level".

References:

- "Gabon" (HERE; Wikipedia).

- "this sanctum sanctorum" (HERE; Wikipedia).

- "Odin knows" (HERE; Wikipedia).

- "the CIA" (HERE; Wikipedia).

- "terminated with extreme prejudice" (HERE; Wiktionary).

- "The Crown Colony" (HERE; Wikipedia).

- "the graves of HMS Repulse" (HERE; Wikipedia); "the Queen Elizabeth" (HERE; Wikipedia).

- "She was Eurasian" (HERE; Wiktionary).

- "Perry Rhodent [sic]-type equipment" (HERE; Wikipedia).

- "hailed a rickshaw" (HERE; Wikipedia).

- "This is another fine mess" (HERE - "Catchphrases"; Wikipedia).

- "had a bug in it" (HERE; Wikipedia).

- "Fairfax County" (HERE; Wikipedia).

- "his starlight visor" (HERE; Wikipedia).

- "rimmed by skunk cabbage" (HERE; Wikipedia).

- "a substantial Doberman" (HERE; Wikipedia).

- "the solar plexus" (HERE; Wikipedia).

- "Tau Ceti" (HERE and HERE; Wikipedia).

- "the speed of light limitation" (HERE; Wikipedia).

- "fusion power source" (HERE; Wikipedia).

- "amenable to extortion" (HERE; Wikipedia).

- "the long black Cad" (HERE; Wikipedia).

Resource:

- If you'd like to brush up on spies and spying, see the Wikipedia article (HERE).

The bottom line:

Unless otherwise noted, all bibliographical data are derived from The FictionMags Index created by William G. Contento & edited by Phil Stephensen-Payne.

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