First appearance: Short Stories, October 10, 1946.
Short short story (7 pages).
Online at the Pulpgen Archive (HERE).
~ Charlie Malone:
"Now hold it just a minute, boys. You got me all wrong. I’ve been behavin’ myself."
~ Pat Rosen:
"All I got to say is you picked a fine time of da year to put on a beaver for a disguise."
~ Mrs. J. Anthony Abernathy Dinkler:
"Nobody who looks so much like jolly Santa could be dishonest."
~ Lou McGuire:
"Well, lady, it’s your funeral. If you wake up tomorrow morning and find everything
but the plumbing gone, don’t be surprised."
~ Mr. J. Anthony Abernathy Dinkler:
"What happened to my wife’s diamond bracelet?"
~ J. Anthony Abernathy Dinkler, Jr.:
"Santa, are you sure there wasn’t a Junior Detective set in your bag for me?"
~ Mr. Tom Neil:
"I don't believe in Santa Claus."
Comment: Light-hearted Runyonesque caper of high society rubbing against low life:
"There are many things associated with the Christmas spirit that a man such as me
cannot understand."
Typo: "arc old stuff"
Resources:
- "Runyonesque": It's in the dictionary (HERE); one of Damon Runyon's most famous characters was "The Lemon Drop Kid" (HERE); and Runyon's influence is still being felt in fiction today (HERE).
- A criminous Christmas-themed anthology that has stood the test of time is Thomas Godfrey's Murder for Christmas, featured on ONTOS (HERE).
The bottom line:
It just so happens that Charlie Malone, an amiable dip, chooses this time of year to grow a big, bushy beard that makes him a dead ringer for Youknowwho, but he has no idea about how doing that's going to put him squarely in the middle of a blackmail plot . . .Comoedia personae:
~ Charlie Malone:
"Now hold it just a minute, boys. You got me all wrong. I’ve been behavin’ myself."
~ Pat Rosen:
"All I got to say is you picked a fine time of da year to put on a beaver for a disguise."
~ Mrs. J. Anthony Abernathy Dinkler:
"Nobody who looks so much like jolly Santa could be dishonest."
~ Lou McGuire:
"Well, lady, it’s your funeral. If you wake up tomorrow morning and find everything
but the plumbing gone, don’t be surprised."
~ Mr. J. Anthony Abernathy Dinkler:
"What happened to my wife’s diamond bracelet?"
~ J. Anthony Abernathy Dinkler, Jr.:
"Santa, are you sure there wasn’t a Junior Detective set in your bag for me?"
~ Mr. Tom Neil:
"I don't believe in Santa Claus."
 |
| "He was wearing white pyjamas with built-in feet and if he had a candle he would have looked just like an ad for a tire." |
"There are many things associated with the Christmas spirit that a man such as me
cannot understand."
Typo: "arc old stuff"
Resources:
- "Runyonesque": It's in the dictionary (HERE); one of Damon Runyon's most famous characters was "The Lemon Drop Kid" (HERE); and Runyon's influence is still being felt in fiction today (HERE).
- A criminous Christmas-themed anthology that has stood the test of time is Thomas Godfrey's Murder for Christmas, featured on ONTOS (HERE).
The bottom line:
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