Cold Chills from Santa

SOMETIMES KIDS' imaginations spin out of control, as the following narrative amply demonstrates. A word of caution from the author, however: "Here’s a special holiday story 
for all my fans on Christmas Eve (but, fair warning, don’t expect it to be heartwarming!)."

   "We have to get Santa before he gets us!"

"Santa Claus Is Coming . . . To Get You!"
By Kevin J. Anderson (born 1962).
First appearance: Deathrealm, Fall/Winter 1991.
Reprints page (HERE).
Short short short story (3 pages).
Online at Kevin J. Anderson's Blog (HERE).

Could Jeff be right?

   "He sneaks down the chimney, and he carries an empty sack with him. And when he knows he’s in a house where there’s a naughty kid, he goes into their bedroom and grabs them, and stuffs them in the sack! Then he pushes them up the chimney and throws the bag in the back of his sleigh with all the other naughty little boys and girls. And then he takes them back up north where it’s always cold and where the wind always blows—and there’s nothing to eat."

But that ain't the half of it . . .

   "He pictured Santa Claus heaving himself out from the fireplace, pushing aside the grate and stepping out into the living room. His eyes were red and wild, his fingers long claws, his beard tangled and stained with the meal he’d had before setting out in his sleigh—perhaps the last two children from the year before, now scrawny and starved. He would have snapped them up like crackers."

Resources:
- Kevin James Anderson has been publishing SFF for well over thirty years; see Wikipedia (HERE), the SFE (HERE), and his film and TV projects at the IMDb (HERE).

~ ~ ~

   "Who has been poisoning your mind, little girl?"

THE SAGE OF BAKER STREET died in a great fall craftily engineered by his literary creator. Everyone who cared about him mourned his passing—until, mirabile dictu, he returned from the dead! Here's a true account of what happened one Yuletide eve after his timely return:

"The Adventure of the Double Santa Claus."
By Bert Leston Taylor (1866-1921).
First appearance: Puck, 28 December 1904.
Short short short story (2 pages).

     "He fastened a rope about my waist and lowered me to the hearth; then he secured the rope to the chimney pot and himself slid down. Fortunately the fire was out."

Holmes always did have a flair for the dramatic: "One glance at the contents of the trunk 
and I fell back with a cry of horror. A human body, horribly mangled, as if by an explosion of dynamite, was before me!"

Resources:
- In his day, humorist Bert Leston Taylor was a well-known columnist and author whose satires infrequently strayed into SFF territory; see Wikipedia (HERE), the SFE (HERE), 

and the ISFDb (HERE).

Is Santa operating on the up-and-up? Let's find out when he takes the stand:

"Investigating Santa Claus."

From Punch, 1905 (below).

(Note: Some text faded.)

References:

- "Mr. Hughes":

  We're guessing here, but it might be Charles Evans Hughes:

  "Responding to newspaper stories run by the New York World, Governor Frank W. Higgins appointed a legislative committee to investigate the state's public utilities in 1905.

. . . Though few expected the committee to have any impact on public corruption, Hughes was able to show that Consolidated Gas had engaged in a pattern of tax evasion and fraudulent bookkeeping." (Wikipedia HERE.)

- "House of Mirth":

  "The House of Mirth is a novel by American author Edith Wharton, published on 14 October 1905. It tells the story of Lily Bart, a well-born but impoverished woman belonging to New York City's high society in the 1890s. The House of Mirth traces Lily's slow two-year social descent from privilege to a lonely existence on the margins of society. In the words of one scholar, Wharton uses Lily as an attack on 'an irresponsible, grasping and morally corrupt upper class'." (Wikipedia HERE.)

- "the Equitable":

  "James Waddell Alexander, the son of James Waddel Alexander, was the [Equitable] company president at the time of the Hyde costume ball scandal in 1905, in which James Hazen Hyde, the son of the founder and a vice president of the company, was falsely accused through a media smear campaign initiated by Alexander and board directors E. H. Harriman, Henry Clay Frick and J.P. Morgan of charging a fabulous $200,000 Versailles-themed affair to the company. The repercussions rocked Wall Street and resulted in an investigation of the entire insurance industry by the State of New York." (Wikipedia HERE.)

- "Chauncey M. Depew":

  "In 1906, David Graham Phillips began a muckraking series entitled 'The Treason of the Senate' for William Randolph Hearst's new Cosmopolitan magazine, and targeted Depew in the first article. The article's sensational charges included labeling Depew a 'boodler' owned 'mentally and morally' by railroad magnates Cornelius and William Vanderbilt. The piece provoked outrage from President Roosevelt, the New York Sun and Senator Henry Cabot Lodge." (Wikipedia HERE.)

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CHRISTMAS BONUS: SANTA IN THE TITLE

Just in case you happen to have any free time between now and New Year's (and if you haven't read them already):
   (1) "Slay Bells for Santa" (HERE)

   (2) "Santa Thumbs a Ride" (HERE)
   (3) "A Slay Ride for Santa" (HERE)

   (4) "Murder on Santa Claus Lane" (HERE)
   (5) "Death Plays Santa Claus" (HERE)
   (6) "The Light Fingered Santa" (HERE).

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